Most of us know of someone who met their true love on the Internet. Currently there are millions of people looking for love on-line. My husband Dale and I met on a dating site in 2002. So how do you know if it’s the right choice for you?
First, I want to be clear that Internet dating is not the best answer for everyone. There are still great and true stories of couples who met on the bus, at the dry cleaners, giving service as a volunteer, and just being at the right place at the right time. Internet dating is simply one tool that singles can use if they feel inspired to.
Internet Dating Won’t Work Unless You’re Ready on the Inside
There’s something even more important than what tool you use to find a beloved – it’s how ready for love you are. And how worthy of love you feel.
Here’s a personal example to illustrate this: I put my profile on a site and was contacted by my now husband three weeks later. I had only one other date before meeting Dale. We soon began an exclusive relationship and were married two years later. In contrast, I knew someone who signed onto the same site as me a month or so before I did. She had profiles on various sites off and on for 10 years without meeting her mate.
Was it luck? Was it fate? Absolutely not! This woman didn’t find love because she hadn’t gotten over her feelings for an unavailable man. While she went through the motions of dating and meeting new men, her heart wasn’t really open to anyone new. But that wasn’t the worst of it. Sadly, she felt her lack of success reflected something lacking in her – that she just wasn’t lovable enough.
My Internet Dating Experience Was Quick and Smooth Because…
- I had spent the four previous years soul-searching to discover and heal the fears I had that kept me hooking up with unavailable men.
- I surrendered the choice of my beloved to God. I hadn’t been good at choosing the right man for me, so I asked God to guide me. Although I felt divinely directed to get on-line, I never expected to really meet anyone that way. I simply wanted to prove to God that my “I will do anything you say” prayer was true.
A final factor in deciding if Internet dating is right for you is how the experience makes you feel. If you can maintain the attitude that it’s an adventure, a learning experience, and will give you the opportunity to practice important relationship skills – like listening to your intuition, keeping your focus on how you feel and what you like rather than solely on your date, saying “no” to obligatory “shoulds” – then go for it! But if the experience starts undermining your self-confidence or contributes to a sense of hopelessness about the possibility for love, then sign off immediately. Your self-confidence and hope are much more magnetic and useful to you than any dating site can ever be!
If you want to learn more about how you can: transform your inner fears and beliefs so you can be free to fully love, and develop great relationship skills, check out my Calling in “The One” coaching programs.
In my next post, I’ll share my and my husband’s specific“Do’s” and “Don’t's” of Internet Dating. In the meantime, check out my December 2011 archived e-newsletter with the feature article Attract Your Ideal Mate with a Magnetic Internet Profile.
What’s Your Experience with Internet Dating?
What do you think about my suggestion that you need to be ready on the inside before you attract a great love relationship? What’s your experience of on-line dating been? Comment here or on our Love Relationship Coaching Facebook page.